Im changing and its not intentional

**Tco** · #1 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 01:36 AM

Photographers Comments
having fun with auto post

For years I seemed to strive for crispness and clarity in an image. When I bought my Mamiya rb67 it was for the sheer amount of detail I could attain from the 'ideal' format. That, combined with fuiji velvia and my beloved agfapan 25 gave wonderfully crisp and detailed results. Eventually I moved to digital as we all have to an extent, nad I bought the e0s1 and some 'L' series lenses. Again the crispness of the image was delightful and staggering on occasion. Time drifted on and I found myself doodling in photoshop more and more. I started to take away the sharpness and never realised I was doing it. I even started to add a little grain and texture to some of the images. This last week i seemed to have leapt away from clarity all together and entered the realms of mild photographic suggestion. Images that are not technically correct and somewhat messy. I am no longer obsessed with clarity and definition. In fact i am begining to loathe it. I still admire macro work and detail when the shot depicts it as a requirement but I am fast heading into a place where I have no idea what is going on.
So crit this as you like but it almost feels like this image is a cry for help...a cry for an answer to what is going on with my shots. I seem to be trying less to produce an image that is widely accepted and pleasing to the masses. Is this wrong? I despise myself in a way because of so many years of wanting ultra sharp imagery. But I can't help it. It is more of a feeling now than a task. My insomnia seems to be peaking at the moment and maybe I am just losing the plot a bit; going a bit crazy. I can't think straight and it starting to affect everything.

Anyway....waffle, waffle...

Its not an outstanding image, its not even a very good one...but its where I am, right or wrong. Am I going backwards? do I need to be commited We all have burdens and woes in our lives of this I am fully aware. I know a few of you guys are up against the odds in certain aspects in your lives...i'm there with you chums and you are not alone.

This is a split second in an ordinary day, in an ordinary household of an ordinary family. A snippet of my son at a moment in time where I think I am losing my mind.

ESSAY OVER

**Tco** · #2 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 01:41 AM

As you can see from the jumbled html I really am off my rocker...FU!* me where is an island when you need one???!!!! God help me, i'm off the rails/ Damn it...getting a grip is not easy sometimes.

Edited a few hours later. been out for long walk to shake of meds...and got rid of html chaos...apologies to all.

**Eos1nrs** · #3 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 01:41 PM

mate, since getting the Bronica a few years back and shooting velvia on it, nothing comes close for clarity or tonal range..maybe its the feel of film, whereas digital sometimes de-sensitizes images..however this format brings with itself new things for us to be amazed by. aint nothing wrong with your shots dude, very human emotions on display here..if anything feels like your insomnia is leading you to read images in many different ways and that may be coming across in images like the above and the one with wifey asleep before she tore into your 'nads.
The HDR shots you had recently until acquired remotely shall we say are further evidence of your claim to be one of the finest photographers on here and that is not a reflection upon anyone else's work on here, just that yours moves me in so many ways..
take heart chap, you take images that are worth more than many people realise, all you need to do is find a way for them to part with their hard earned monies..keep the faith as Jon Bon Jovi would say
Love and man hugs, (plus sloppy kisses to cheeks and back slaps)

fayswon · #4 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 04:19 PM

So, you are changing?....could it be that changing is just a disorienting step in evolving and growing?...I've been in many different life situations where being in the status quo and doing what I know people think I'm supposed to be doing is not a good or healthy place for me to be...but going through the process of finding out is frightening and painful. But now, when I look back on those occacsions, I shudder to think that I could still be there.

Insomnia..wouldn't want to wish it on anyone..Watched my mother and daughter go through that. I'm going to sound like an anarchist but alot of pills that pharmacuticals shove at us can make a situation worse. There is alot of alternative information and help out there but they can't be freely available on the street like your local drugstore, who are the dispensers of 'approved'. Insomnia can color your whole life and I believe there is help out there and don't let people tell you how to 'properly' find it. Yes, you may not be the only one out there with heavy trials..but that just means we are all in 'this' together.

This is a wonderful image!!!!!...If I ever produce something like this, don't think it's a cry for help

Mello · #5 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 06:58 PM

Have no idea what insomnia's like but it sound's a nightmare!!! but as for change and feeling like going backwards i'm all for it.

Spent the first 2 years of photography trying to conform to all the rules but since joining the local camera club i seem to be going backwards too!!! well not backwards i like to think of it as just in a different direction.

In the competitions the judges go through all the pics twice then pick the ones they like,then through again culling indescriminately,then on the forth go they do all the awards (commended/highly commended/very highly commended/3rd/2nd/1st).

Have entered 6 comps with 20 or so pics and just can't bring myself to conform with images that follow all the rules which i know the judges will like,subsequently i have never even got one through the first round and have only ever had one positive comment.

I could enter stuff they would love but i am determined to go my own way and get one in that bucks the normal trend.

So as for thinking you might be going a bit mad and feeling like your slipping backwards theres nothing wrong with that as far as i can see, i'm sure lots of us do it at some point mate.

Oh and i love the pic by the way (chin up fella)....

Regards Mello.

**Tco** · #6 (**permalink**) 23-04-2008, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eos1nrs

mate, since getting the Bronica a few years back and shooting velvia on it, nothing comes close for clarity or tonal range..maybe its the feel of film, whereas digital sometimes de-sensitizes images..however this format brings with itself new things for us to be amazed by. aint nothing wrong with your shots dude, very human emotions on display here..if anything feels like your insomnia is leading you to read images in many different ways and that may be coming across in images like the above and the one with wifey asleep before she tore into your 'nads.
The HDR shots you had recently until acquired remotely shall we say are further evidence of your claim to be one of the finest photographers on here and that is not a reflection upon anyone else's work on here, just that yours moves me in so many ways..
take heart chap, you take images that are worth more than many people realise, all you need to do is find a way for them to part with their hard earned monies..keep the faith as Jon Bon Jovi would say
Love and man hugs, (plus sloppy kisses to cheeks and back slaps)

Dude if you wore a bra i'd be on one knee proposing. Cheers for the pick-me-up. You know that i have always valued your opinion and admire your images, so it means a lot coming from you donkey boy. I'm not unhappy with the images and find myself feeling kind of selfish when I think of them, a bizarre from of mind.
God bless ya buddy

man snogs back but keep yer shorts on....i'm not kissing yer cheeks

Quote:

Originally Posted by fayswon

So, you are changing?....could it be that changing is just a disorienting step in evolving and growing?...I've been in many different life situations where being in the status quo and doing what I know people think I'm supposed to be doing is not a good or healthy place for me to be...but going through the process of finding out is frightening and painful. But now, when I look back on those occacsions, I shudder to think that I could still be there.

Insomnia..wouldn't want to wish it on anyone..Watched my mother and daughter go through that. I'm going to sound like an anarchist but alot of pills that pharmacuticals shove at us can make a situation worse. There is alot of alternative information and help out there but they can't be freely available on the street like your local drugstore, who are the dispensers of 'approved'. Insomnia can color your whole life and I believe there is help out there and don't let people tell you how to 'properly' find it. Yes, you may not be the only one out there with heavy trials..but that just means we are all in 'this' together.

This is a wonderful image!!!!!...If I ever produce something like this, don't think it's a cry for help

Wow you have a great use of words m'lady! Wise words. I have often say if the wisest of women were to lead the governments of this world then it would probably be a much safer and compassionate place. Thanks for the support and advice Fay.

Sometimes it is easy to feel alone in a situation even though you are surrounded by kind and decent people. Roll on the next phase...a pinhole

camera? Who knows

Steve buddy you must have been typing the same time as so i'll slip this in as an edit. I totally agree. Easy to be led in to a state of self doubt...we all have experienced that and many of us still are. When a punter does not show or existing ones never seem to come back or there is no follow up call of thanks... these are all blows to self worth and confidence sometimes. I guess the comfort is in the fact I/we are not alone. It is the sheer nature of this medium and business that will always lend itself to critics and knock backs. Life is much the same throught...
Right!!!! on a happier note I have an ice cold can off beer here and its heading south by way of my gob!!!

Many thanks buddy...never change. man snogs to you and some BIG SNOGS TO FAY XXXX

**Photo Phil** · #7 (**permalink**) 25-04-2008, 09:14 PM

Hi mate,
think of the greats like Ansel Adams, Mann Ray, Lee Miller, Henri Cartier Bresson all of whom inspired and created change to illustrate their own works. They often took the rule books on photography and burned them. Were they wrong? No! They were often just different, and different is good. Here, you have taken the obvious rules and subjected them to a damn good thrashing with a soggy rolled up newspaper and a week old kipper.
And the result...........Great.
In my opinion a definate keeper.

**Tco** · #8 (**permalink**) 26-04-2008, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Photo Phil

Hi mate,
think of the greats like Ansel Adams, Mann Ray, Lee Miller, Henri Cartier Bresson all of whom inspired and created change to illustrate their own works. They often took the rule books on photography and burned them. Were they wrong? No! They were often just different, and different is good. Here, you have taken the obvious rules and subjected them to a damn good thrashing with a soggy rolled up newspaper and a week old kipper.
And the result...........Great.
In my opinion a definate keeper.

Thanks mate.
I think Alistair once posted something about images taken by the amazing and famous shooters of yesteryear and how they had been commented on in other forums by shooters who didn't know that they were commenting on some classic imagery. I agree sometimes it is good to bend the rules. I think subconciously we are all always seeking approval; always seeking guidance and achknowledgement from our fellow photographers. I read blogs of the most successful photographers in the world and although they love what they do...they suffer the same. One of the most difficult things to achieve when producing an image, and in life itself thinking about it...is contentment.

Thanks again for looking and responding mate.