Originally Posted by Mello

Dearest Lorraine,
please accept my sincerest apologies for not commenting on your wonderful and lustrous photograph.
I can assure you that a speedy and forthright preamblance was indeed being prepaired for remmittance...
Unfortunately a stray and mischievous strand of tobbacco dropped from my clay pipe and set fire to my velvet smoking jacket...
After extinguishing the preposterous fellow much burning of chest hair was found,hence a trip to and subsequent stay of three days was ensued at the local cottage hospital..
Rest assured i value each and everyone of my learned friends whom have seen fit to grace us with their own pieces and this oversight will not occur again...

Yours sententiously, Stephen Keates Mellor.